Good Morning everyone! I trust all is well with you!
Okay so, my sisters and me were watching Jenifa’s Diaries last Saturday (side note: best show ever!!!! Funke Akindele-Bello is Bae! The chick is hilarious and her show – a spin off from her phenomenal movie Jenifa – is everything and a bag of chips! I highly recommend it). Sorry, back to the matter.
In this one particular episode, Sege – the man in love with her, flaws and all – was convinced by a mutual friend to test her love/devotion. After he proposed, and she said yes, he told her he would open a hair salon for her in his village, where she’ll live with his mother for a while before joining him in the U S of A. Jenifa (who is ALL about bettering herself, had her reservations about Sege to begin with, AND was recently offered an opportunity to become a hair stylist in the U.K.) said HELL NO and gave him back his ring.
This pissed my baby sister off. She said, no woman would pass such a test. As you can imagine, this lead to a lot of back and forth around the idea of testing one’s intended and whether it’s right or not and how far was too far and all what not.
As for yours truly, I don’t think I like the idea of purposely putting someone through a test. There is nothing wrong with having standards oh and “protecting yourself” to make sure you end up with the best person for you! I just don’t it because I wouldn’t want anyone to do that to me! ? Like seriously, what if I truly love the person and I don’t pass?? ? Do I get a do-over? Should that one test cancel out all other great things I got going on?!
Okay so maybe I do pay attention to how people react in certain scenarios and draw conclusions from there… Is this the same thing?!? ?
What do you guys think?! Do you support the idea of testing people? If so, why? If no, why not? Also, for those that do, would you mind sharing examples of tests you use or have used on people? Please, I’m curious.
As always, thank you so much for reading! See you next Tuesday (by the grace of God)!
Love always,
The Wawa-New Yorker
P.S. Thank you so much for all your prayers, constant check-ins and well wishes. I truly appreciate it. I am feeling a lot better, THANK GOD! God bless you all ?
I actually watched that episode, hilarious indeed. I really think these tests are ridiculous.
I think so too! My prayer is, If its meant to be, Lord find a way, if not, may it not reach the altar! I’m not about the additional headache lol.
thank you for reading and leaving a comment!
If I have a lot of luxury for testing, why not. And by luxury I mean have lots of relationship alternatives. when getting a life partner there is need to select who best fits into the qualities you want in a wife. But in a situation where by I do not have alternatives, I guess I might be a little scared of doing a test. But if if I do have alternatives, why not.
Now I know you are a female and will not agree with this, but I’m just being real.
Hahaha! Obinna! it is always great to get a male point of view. However I have a question – what happens when you have “a lot of luxury for testing”, put everyone through the test and they all fail said test? Or even better, (to Njide’s point), someone passes it, but is upset that you tested her to begin with and ends things? How you go take do am?
Well if they all fail the test which I know is rare, then I keep searching. And if one passes the test gets upset, first, she cant know its a test to start with. Secondly, I know how to win her back when she gets upset. Nna ya a na akpu nwoke? (Does the father create a fine boy?) 😉
LMAO!!!!!!!! I can’t with you Obinna! Thank you for your fresh prospective.
Last thing…. Care to share an example of a test you may use? As I mentioned in my post, I’m curious.
Well unfortunately, I have non yet.
No to test, because when a “person” keeps testing another person watch how God will give that “person” the ultimate test and use that as grade for judgment day #sipstea
Test , Test that’s how you’ll be 70 and alone!!!! Who’s gonna be writing your test then. Anyone that feels he has to “test ” you doesn’t deserve you.
? at 70 and alone! Dang!
Yeah I don’t believe in all those tests. It could put too much tension on the relationship and cause people to become pretentious. They’ll do what they need to do to pass the test, and then show their true colors once they are married. Sooo…pointless to me
Right! I was thinking about the ramifications of these so called test also. Like what if I pass and throw my shoe at you in angry and you die, how we go take do am? ???
Confession Alert! Mindset is very important, years ago, after dating for 4+ years, I felt I was being tested which was why I was not engaged or married yet! This mindset allowed me to become possessed. LITERALLY! This mindset caused a warm within and allowed me to be self doubt, feel like my time was wasting and I was never going to pass this so called test.
As my faith allowed me, I was praying through this process and learned SO MUCH!.
I learned any relationship from God will be tested by forces ONLY TO GROW STRONGER.
I learned a person in a relationship putting a person through a test does not love the other person.
I learned love is unconditional, and when God is involved passing through the storm requires steadfast prayers.
I learned my mindset had a lot to do with my problems.
I learned I had to attack EVERY SINGLE NEGATIVE thought as soon as it appeared.
I learned I had to stop watching certain shows and stop reading certain books to protect my mindset.
I learned I had to adjust my relationships with people and not allow other people to state things based on WHAT THEY DO NOT KNOW. (as per the so called friend that advice the so called test in the first place WHO IS PROBABLY SINGLE, MISERABLE AND LONELY etc)
I learned God is within us all, for those who seek Him, no other person needs to direct or advice, God will direct you HIMSELF.
OK let me stop… 🙂
POWERFUL!!!! Wow. Thank you so much for your candid response. You’ve definitely given me a lot to meditate and think about.
Damn!!!!!!! Preach!!!!!!
Speak it sister… love it ….
Ummm… tests are used in educational facilities to know how well you know a subject matter. It’s usually done AFTER you have studied and prepared for it. So there should be no such thing in a relationship and the so called man deserved to be dumped!
Hahahahaha my baby sister agrees with you! She’s still upset about it.
Thank you!
ROTFLMAOOOOOO EGOOOOOO