My bladder vs. the MTA

I think every New Yorker can relate to a time when the MTA trains “fell their hand” – a time when you needed the train to get you somewhere ASAP, only to end up getting to your desired location WAAAYYY LATER because of train delay by dispatcher, a sick passenger, construction etc.

Last Thursday, I had one of these experiences….

I met up with one of my friends for drinks after work. Between the wine and AWESOME conversation, time seem to fly by. Before I knew it, it was late (I already missed Scandal) so it was time to go home. I had to pee… like really bad. But I decided to wait until I got home. “I can wait an hour” I thought. So I put on my coat, and left the wine bar.

I reached the train station just as E train was leaving so I had to wait for the next one. This is when my sense (previously distorted by alcohol) started to kick in. I cursed myself out for not using the restroom at the bar. I do not have a problem peeing in public restrooms (no public facility will ever be worse than the toilet in my secondary school, and I came out alive). So why the hell didn’t I? Eventually, the A train came so I decided to take it to 42nd and catch the E home from there.

When I got to 42nd, the E wasn’t there so I had to wait again. As opposed to cursing, I decided to pray. “Lord Jesus -” then I heard the train coming so I pushed my way to the front of the train door.

Finally inside, I did everything to distract myself and hold my bladder. I read my book, send out emails, I even meditated (I stopped after my third deep breath – I think every breath pushed my pee further down my urinary track) but nothing worked! Defeated, I felt it’d be best to just sit still and focus on getting home as fast as possible.

I’m sure my guardian angel was on a nap because this happened;

At 53rd and Lexington, the conductor announced that “All Queens bound trains will be making all local stops. I repeat  all Queens bound trains will be all making local stops” thereby adding another 30 minutes to my hour! ???

Is this my 2016 story? The girl that peed in the train…? Jesus is this your plan for me?
I was still trying to understand what God was doing to me when the train stopped completely. Soon after the conductor announced “we are being held momentarily because of train dispatcher.”

So I laughed.

I was definitely going to pee on myself, so why bother stressing?

My brain immediately went into damage control mode. “What am I going to tell my siblings when they ask why I’m wet and smelling like pee?” “Is there anyone in this train car who knows me and if so, how can I convince the person I was one of my sisters?” ?

Slowly but eventually, the train came to my stop and I ran home just in time to make it. When I finally relieved myself, I had tears of joy in my eyes! ??

Like every other story, I learned some lessons from my crazy experience;

1. I won’t put off an opportunity to do later, something I can do right away. Life is too short and later could take too darn long to come. I left the bar thinking I’d just pee when I got home. I didn’t take into account trains could go local.
2. I won’t judge people who pee outside. I use to grimace at the pee stench all over NYC. If I didn’t have a vagina, last week I would’ve contributed to that. ?
3. Real talk – if God brings you to it, HE WILL BRING YOU THROUGH IT! Brethren there were times I was CONVINCED I would pee on myself;
   • When the conductor first announced the trains were making all local stops,
   • When the automated message came on in train at Grand “we are being held momentarily because of train dis-ginidi”
   • or the highlight,
     When I got home and the main door (which is almost always open) was locked ???.

BUT because I serve A LIVING GOD, I made it in safely to my bathroom! With this victory, I face all my other prayer points with renewed faith like WON’T HE DO IT?!? ??????

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! I wish you all the best!

Love always,
The Wawa-NewYorker