Lost In Found 8 – Check Point

Good Morning and Happy Tuesday to you all!

I hope you’re having a great week so far.

Below please find this week’s storisode from my short story series: Lost in Found. Click here if you missed the rest. Enjoy!

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I’m going to jail
I’m going to jail
Omg I’m going to jail

How in the world did I end up in this mess??! I know! I am stupid! And defiant and stubborn and now I’m going to Lagos jail!

Everything was fine. I got the keys. Started the car. It’s a Range Rover sport – don’t know what year – but who cares!! When I started that ignition and roared that engine, it called my name and I knew this was love. For the first time ever, I believed that I really did marry that man. So I waited for Joy to get into the car and we rode out.

*sigh* It was bliss. Joy told me when to turn and before I knew it, we were on Bourdillon road heading towards Falomo to Church of Assumption. There was light traffic so I had time to stop, take in the sights and just breathe… That’s when all hell broke loose.

At the end of the block, there was a police check point and I got flagged. The officer waved me to pull over and made his way towards the car.

Officer: Madam well done oo
Me: Well done sir
Officer: Particulars?
Me: Sorry?
Officer: Madam where your car particulars?
Me: Joy please get the documents from the pigeonhole

Joy opened the pigeonhole and that’s when we realized the car didn’t have the registration in it.

Officer: Madam get down from that car right now!
Me: See eh, there’s a perfectly good explanation for this
Officer 2: Wetin dey happen for here?
Officer 1: This girl stole this car o!
Me: I DIDN’T STEAL THE CAR! This is my car!
Officer 1: If it is, then where are the particulars??! Where is your license??

Dang it!  I don’t have that either.

Me: I forgot it at home. If you let me get my husband
Officer 2: No be all these runz girls where they carry their aristos’car any how? Madam no problem. You can settle us nah… Just handle the boys and we go allow you
Me: But.. But.. But… I don’t have money
Officer 1: THEN WE ARE GOING TO THE STATION FOR STOLEN PROPERTY! GET DOWN NOW!

I got out the car on the verge of tears.

Me: This is my husband’s car! Dr. Chukwudi Nnaji
Officer 2: And my papa be Buhari
Me: I am not lying. If you’d give me a second to just call him. Please
Officer 1: Oya call him nah!

Shoot! I don’t have a phone. Can today get anymore humiliating?!

Me: Err.. Um.. I don’t have a phone
Officer 2: HAHAHAHAHAHA you no get particulars, you no get license, you no get ID, you no get money, you no get phone, madam you get sense at all?!?

LEAVE MY WIFE ALONE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!
We all turned around to see Chudi rushing towards us! In real life, I should feel relief! My man is here to rescue me. Holler! But seeing the look in his eyes, I wish I got arrested. I am so screwed!

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Officer: Oga wey done oo
Me: Don’t well done me. What is going on here?
Officer: Ah ah, no vex sir. Your madam no get particulars, no license

I walked to the car and pulled out the docs from under the driver’s seat and handed it to him. Then I pulled out my wallet and pulled out two thousand naira and gave it to him.

Officer: Kai! Correct man! Madam you do well ooo! See how your guy fine-
Me: Are we done here?!
Officer: Yes sir
Me: Now listen to me! You see this woman! Look at her! Remember her face, remember her car! REMEMBER HER SMELL! If you EVER DISTURB HER AGAIN! EVER!!! I will inform the Commissioner and have you both sacked!
Both Officers: Yes sir! Oga Sorry sir! Madam sorry!

I turned to head back to the car. That’s when Dubs had just pulled the other car around.

Me: Dubs, please take Joy home
Joy: Oga sorry!
Me: I will deal with you when I get home!
Nkem: Chudi please it’s-
Me: Nkemdilim. Get.into.the.car.NOW!

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Woooo somebody’s in trouble….. Hahahahaha!

Thank you so much for ready and have the best rest of the week!

Love always,

The Wawa-New Yorker