Happy Friday Loves!
I hope you have already started the weekend on a great note! If you’re still at work like me, GO HOME!!!!!
Okay so, ever since I put out my post last Tuesday, people (especially ladies) have been on my case!
Who is your friend? Hook a sister up!
What’s wrong with him?
Is he ugly?
Were you biased in your description because he’s your friend?
If he is as great as you make him out to be, there’s no reason why he should be single! And in Lagos? AHHHH! Something must be wrong Oby!
Something has to be wrong!
“He’s just been unlucky” That’s the honest to God truth. Like many of us have been in the love finding department, he has been in relationships which haven’t worked out. But he’s a good guy.
To one of my CRAZY FRIENDS, my response was different
Me: “He has a type”
Chrissy: Ooooooo ahhhhh I see lmao. Wrong Wrong Wrong
Me: Lmao
Chrissy: His type doesn’t want him.
Me: Yes they do! They just don’t know it yet!
Chrissy: He needs to expand
Me: Hahahahahahahahahahaha
Chrissy: He needs to expand. Expansion is not Compromise
I’ve been in a lot of conversations recently centered around this theme “Expansion.” Many accuse those of us who are yet to get married as picky or unwilling to compromise.
“Women want it all. She must be tall, dark, handsome, rich, smart has a house, two cars, successful business, full hairline, get sense of humor, loves dogs, loves kids, respectful, sensitive, confident, Christian, young, romantic, charming, know how to ride a horse, banging body!”
“Men want it all! She must be pretty, skinny, tall, light skinned, can cook fresh food every morning, afternoon and night, has a job, independent but not disrespectful, Godfearing, can rock designers, uphold conversation, intelligent, motherly, beautiful, nonsmoker, causal drinker, confident but not too much”
Long story a tad shorter, many say that there would be a lot less singles if people just leveled down their thinking and are willing to make tweaks to Wishlist.
“Expansion is not compromise” to quote my friend.
On that note, I’d like to pose the question: Do you think it is right (or even fair) to tell someone to widen their pool or compromise when choosing her/his life partner? Especially since marriage should for forever?
As always, let me know your thoughts!
Thank you so much for reading! Have an amazing weekend everyone!
Love always!
The Wawa-New Yorker
I like this girl as a friend but, she really likes me more than a friend. I don’t know how to tell her I’m talking to other girls and sleeping with some of them. She gives me the attention I like but, I’m not attracted to her.I spend time with her because she is a nice person and we have fooled around. We are trying the whole long distance thing but, I’m still leaving my options open. This sounds bad but, I don’t want to hurt her and I want us to remain friends. I know physical attraction doesn’t matter but yet, I find myself asking people what they think of her appearance.
And I say, don’t compromise. It’s not worth it. But the expansion may be to include an even higher standard than you thought you were deserving of.
Oh I love this!!! I’ve always associated expansion with lowering standards, not raising the bar. So it’s definitely great to remember this can mean reaching for higher! I’m updating my list to include EVERYTHING I want, need and MORE!!! Lmao!
Thank you so much for reading and leaving a comment J!
It depends on what the values are based on! If the values are shallow, yes expansion of mindset is needed. If the values are morally correct, no expansion needed. But the real deal is finding someone willing to make it work!!!! Until then no r/s will work, life is all an illusion. What we think we need, when we get we Never satisfied. UWA
Profound! You are absolutely right. We do place a lot of emphasis on the wrong things and to quote one of my mentors “are not willing to put in the work to sustain happiness” *sigh* God help us all!
Thank you for reading and leaving a comment!
Nope. I want what I want. I rather remain single until I find her. The only thing i would want to widen is the geographical location possibly. What u want might be waiting for u in another region or state or even country.
BOOM!!!!! Forever is a long time to compromise and end up in regret! I hear you jare! lol! Thank you for reading and leaving a comment Obinna! Have an amazing weekend!!!!